how grief changes us

Hey there, lovely humans. Today I’m diving deep into a topic that is so crucial and so often misunderstood: grief and how it can completely transform us. So grab a cozy blanket, a cup of tea, and let's have an intimate chat about this. You’ve probably heard of the ‘five stages of grief’: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But life isn't a video game, folks. You don’t clear one level and then hop on to the next one like Super Mario. It’s more like you're a pinball on crack—zooming around aimlessly, hitting old stages, and discovering new ones. And that's perfectly okay; it's part of your unique grief journey.

The Emotional Tornado 🌪

Grieving is like having your emotional control panel hijacked. You might have been the calm, chill type and now find yourself crying at the drop of a hat. Or maybe you were never the empathetic friend who listened well but now you hang on to every word people say. You're a kaleidoscope of emotions, each one changing you ever so slightly but deeply.

Cognitive Changes: Where Did My Brain Go? 🧠

Then comes the mind-boggling cognitive changes. Have you ever walked into a room and forgot why you’re there? Imagine that, but on steroids. Grief sucks up so much of your mental energy that you're left with just a wisp of your previous cognitive prowess. You forget names, lose track of time, and before you know it, you're like, “Is my brain melting?”

Changing Behavior Patterns 🎭

All these emotional and cognitive changes don’t just sit in a vacuum; they manifest in your behavior. Were you the life of the party before your loss? You might find more comfort staying in and binge-watching Netflix now. Or maybe you were shy and introverted but can't stand being alone with your thoughts, so you start accepting all social invites. It's like your personality got a shake-up, and you're still sifting through the pieces.

Spiritual Shifts 🙏

Don’t be surprised if grief gets you questioning the Big Stuff, like the meaning of life and your spiritual beliefs. Some might find comfort in their faith, while others question the existence of a higher power. It’s your soul’s way of saying, “Hey, let's do some soul-searching now that our lives are completely upended.”

The Physical Transformation 🏋️‍♂️

Lastly, there are physical changes, which are often the most visible. Some people lose weight because they can’t even think about food, while others might put on weight because they're stress eating. Some might even turn to substances like alcohol or drugs. Remember, it’s crucial to take care of yourself; even a small amount of exercise and planned meals can go a long way.

The Long-Term Implications: Forever Changed 🕰

Okay, time for some real talk. Will you ever go back to being the same person? The truth is, some of these changes might be here to stay. But guess what? That’s not necessarily a bad thing. My hope is that the ‘new you’ will be more empathetic, more caring, and a better steward of this fragile, beautiful world we live in. You, more than anyone, now understand that we only get one shot at life. ❤️

If you’d like to watch the video version of this post, click below.

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Why routines are your best friend during grief

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My return to work story (a.k.a. the u.s. idea of “bereavement” sucks)